Solitary Confinement
by Doe Eyes at Dusk
Summary: AU featuring a snapped Iceland who became a serial killer after going insane and murdering his family. This is a narrative of his thoughts while in solitary confinement. Do I really need to warn you about character death?


"Sometimes insanity isn't the end… Maybe the end- is life?"

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 _I know what you're thinking about me… you believe I'm a monster. That I killed my brothers, my nephew… out of sheer insanity… I DON'T CARE! I DON'T CARE! Did you honestly think that just because I'm 'human' I have to 'care'? I'm not insane… I know I'm not… They all deserved to die. They got what was coming to them… I'm not sure why they had to die… but they had to die…_

 _I should've killed the puffin too… that's my only regret. Why didn't I think he would tell everyone what had happened? That stupid useless bird! He's the reason I'm stuck in this hell-hole anyway… No color… hardly any light… The red streaks on the wall make everything better… Are they even real? They must be… my fingers still hurt. It's nice, knowing that I can still feel… Even if it's only physical pain. Maybe I should draw the faces of my 'family'… of course, it would only be in red… even so… that seems fitting enough._

 _Clawing at the stone walls until they bleed seems to be my new favourite pastime… my only pastime… other than screaming profanities at my captors. There's a new 'guard' now… he only started watching my 'cell' recently… It's good to know that someone still fears me… it's amusing to watch him tremble as I scream my insults and threats at him… I don't think he understands Icelandic though… I can hear him asking for a translation. Or at least, I think that's what he said… The language he's using doesn't make much sense…_

 _I'm not sure… how long I've been in here… My hair's gotten longer… Are my eyes still the same? The last time I saw them… was right before- maybe after… I killed them? There was a reflection… somewhere… maybe in the blankness of their glassy eyes… my own were violet… as always, but… changed. I saw madness in them… and that made me want to laugh… I might have been a bit hysterical then… I don't think I realized what kind of liberty the insanity would bring me… finally being able to give an action to the thoughts I'd never say… hatred, maybe… or the 'repulsive' urge to kill something… to wash away the pain of life in a sea… a crimson sea. Blood flowing, staining everything in a 'despicable' river of death… It could've had a poetic ring to it… I've forgotten._

 _I'm scared- no, not scared, just too 'apprehensive'- to close my eyes… Every time, I remember something light. It's… different… not like the darkness creeping in from every angle that I'm so accustomed to… It's more like a… a friendly smile? Who would be smiling at me? … Ah, that's right… I remember now… The one with emotionless blue eyes, so much like my own… he tried to get me to call him 'big brother'… I can't think of why I didn't say it… Am I remembering… what it was like to be… loved? I don't know anymore… and that knowledge- the knowledge that I don't know- rips at what little fragment of my soul is left. I don't like 'remembering'… all these haunting phantoms are from the past… they're NOT REAL! These people I see everyday… they're dead… I killed them. I KILLED THEM!_

 _I'm getting desperate now… there's even more red streaks on the wall… the same red that covers my fingers… my hands… my arms… Everything I touch is red… My captors look even more wary of me now… my heart feels completely gone now… as if it weren't already. I tried to kill myself, but they wouldn't let me… I'm not sure why they care… it was them who put me in this agony after all… I miss people… maybe if I had someone to interact with? Someone who… cared? someone real, who I could touch without having to worry about them fading away from me? I don't think I would've killed them, even if I had the chance… the only one I want gone… is me. I think I'll try again tonight… No one pays as much attention to me anymore… as if_ I'm _the one who's been forgotten… it shouldn't be too difficult to rip out my own throat, right? Then there'll finally be more color in this 'prison'… let's just call it 'Purgatory' for now. Whatever that is._

 _I think I'm beginning to regret… all those times I refused stóri bróðir's hugs… they were always so warm… It's gotten darker now… or maybe lighter? I've been hidden, sheltered, in the night for so long… I've forgotten anything else…_ "Fyrirgefðu."

 _My eyes are closed now… I don't think I'll ever wake up… the blood washing over me feels… wordless…_ "Halló, stóri bróðir."

 _I know you said I was crazy at the beginning… I can't prove you wrong anymore… I don't think I have the evidence to support my claim, even if I ever did… but even so…_ "Ég er ekki geðveikur."

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 **I'm a bit depressed after writing this, if I'm being honest… and I can't seem to stop finishing my sentences with three dots. Oh, well. Any questions, just ask! ~Doe Eyes at Dusk**


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